The Kinky Mart Chronicles: Pink Swiffer Mop

By Lady Henry

Disclaimer: The Kinky Mart Chronicles is intended as an entertainment column that creatively perverts hum-drum dollar store items. The Ritual Chamber does not endorse the safety of any activity listed below. Please engage in risk-aware, consensual kink.

  1. Dress your sub up in 50s clothing and have them clean the floor like a good little woman
  2. Stick the handle in their butt and have them sweep using their rear
  3. Have the sub lay on the floor and clean him as a dirty sub
  4. Have the sub lay on the floor as a rug and ignore him while you sweep up all the dirt your new "rug" brought in
  5. Make them sweep away their "footprints" for the entire session so as not to leave residual sub residue (like tracks in the snow)
  6. Using st. Andrew's cross or suspension grips, have the sub's arms raised and proceed to "beat" your "rug"
  7. Have the sub attach cash to their body so when "beating" your "rug" there's something to beat off.
  8. Have the sub attach personalized praises and compliments to their body so when "beating" your "rug" there's something to beat off. Have them recite each compliment when it falls to the ground.
  9. Have the sub do a Chimney Sweep dance in frilly panties for amusement
  10. Stick the handle in the sub's rear and have them act like a giant clock keeping the mop head stationary and centered while they rotate as a second, minute or hour hand.
  11. Attach the mop to the sub's back to ensure correct posture
  12. Have the sub raise the mop to clean the ceiling while CBT is performed. They can not stop cleaning the ceiling.
  13. Have the sub stand with the mop like a British Royal Guard, ready to clean at a moment's notice.
The Ritual Chamber