READ / The Conundrum of Sissification

By Headmistress Shahrazad

As the number of men desiring to explore “sissification” or “forced feminization” as a fetish increase, there is a definite concern amongst some that these desires demean women, leaving those with these kinds of fantasies unable to fully explore their desires without feeling shameful or guilty. I’d like to use this blog entry to unpack some of the reasons why I don’t believe that this is the case.

We live in a society that for hundreds of years now has been entrenched in a patriarchal worldview that ranks men and masculine attributes as preferable to women and feminine attributes. Right or wrong, no one grows up in a bubble, and as a result we have all been heavily influenced by this dominant worldview. Some individuals rebel against it, and some subscribe to its tenets, but regardless it is a force that shapes the way our identities are formed. Because of it, men and women have been forced into a binary existence from childhood that tells them they will be punished socially if they are interested in adopting the “trappings” of the opposite sex.

These social punishments tend to be much stricter for men, who get dismissed as gay if they show interest in sensuality, feminine clothing, or anything else typically cast within the realm of “women”. Many men experienced being humiliated or degraded when they were young by the male role models in their lives who may have called them “sissies” or “girls” or “pussies” in a derogatory manner, implying that they were not living up to the standards of masculinity. As a result, many men had to repress the more sensual sides of their natures.

My own conclusion, based on 15 years of exploring and facilitating such fantasies with men, is that the fetishization of “forced feminization” or “sissification” is an attempt on a man’s part to reclaim the lost (or disowned) parts of themselves that are softer, more sensual, more erotic, more exhibitionistic, and more based in feelings than logic. The only way that many know how to do so is to contextualize it as a “humiliating” thing because that is the way it was put to them since childhood. I don’t actually believe that in most cases there is an intentional desire on the fetishist’s part to demean women through their fantasy.

I also seen men who are more comfortable with those aspects of themselves do “sissification” to celebrate and revel in the trappings of femininity, who were either raised with more progressive views around gender, or who have healed the wounding of their childhood upbringing and put aside the messages they’ve received about it. So if you are a male-identified person who is turned on by cinching your waist, straightening your stockings, or making sure your makeup is just right, you are in good company. Practice it as self-acceptance, of parts of yourself that contribute to your human-ness.