On Gender Play and Why I Love It By Mistress Ophira

On Gender Play and Why I Love It

Mistress Ophira


When I was much younger, I vividly recall seeing a photograph in a book of vintage film prints that made something click inside my head. In it, a beautiful woman dressed in a tuxedo stood with her chin tilted defiantly towards the camera, straightening her bow tie, a cigarette dangling from her mouth. That woman was Marlene Dietrich, a German1920's film star who had been notorious for cross-dressing in a time when the mere sight of slacks on a woman in public was transgressive. Terribly intrigued, I'd delved into accounts of her life and found that she was rumored to be bisexual and would often reverse gender roles as part of her cabaret performances, appearing on stage in a top hat, smoking cigars and kissing female audience members.

Something about the suit on a person with an otherwise feminine appearance, in a time when crossing gender boundaries had been even more socially forbidden, just screamed Fuck You, and I liked it. At some point during my Dietrich obsession I found a three piece suit in a thrift store and altered it to fit me; I would wear it to formal functions with lipstick and heels. Men and women alike looked at me with surprise and captivation, and I thrived off the power trip I got from provoking their surprise and desire.

Personally, I think we're all much too big to fit into the narrow little boxes that typical gender stereotypes try to squeeze us into. Whether or not you've ever questioned your gender identity, chances are you've been told in some way or other to feel negative or ashamed of any tendencies or desires which are labeled as “feminine”. Being pursued? Not for you, you must be the one who pursues. Beautiful? No, not you; you are the one who gazes upon beauty, not the one who is gazed at and desired. The feeling of silk? Of delicate lace against your skin? No, you can't have the pleasure of adorning yourself, you can only appreciate those things on others.

One of the most wonderful things about Dominance, to me, is that it allows me to act as a sort of proxy for whatever authorities in your life have made you feel oppressed or belittled. When you're in my hands, it no longer matters how your society, culture, or any other mass structure believes you should look, act, or behave. When that door closes, the only person you need to worry about pleasing is me. And nothing pleases me quite like seeing you look your most beautiful.

The Ritual Chamber