The Archetypal Roles of the Hunter and the Hunted in BDSM - By Headmistress Shahrazad
“She was the hunter. Love was the weapon. I was the prey.” – Anonymous
The dance between hunter and hunted, between predator and prey, is so natural to humans that it is practically archetypal. One could think of the world of human interactions as a giant stage on which this choreography is almost always taking place, albeit under different guises. Although it is fair to say that all humans may, at some point or another in their lives, express both drives, most people would say that they tend to derive greater pleasure out of either pursuing, or being pursued.
Taken out of a pathological context, one can see similarities amongst people with each tendency. Folks who are naturally inclined towards being the “predator” are assertive and action-oriented, have a keen eye, and instinctively know the right moment to pounce on what they desire. They know what they want and are relentless in its pursuit. Conversely, those who have more natural prey energy tend to wait for opportunities in life to happen to them, preferring not to make the first move, and tend not to challenge the status quo. One can think about the predator as having a “dominance-oriented” approach to life and the prey as having a “submission-oriented” approach, since one is imposing their will on life and the other is aligning with the external forces that life throws at them.
When taken even more specifically into an erotic or D/s context, this theme continues. D-types tend to be associated with being the “Hunter”, while s-types are often associated with being the “Hunted”. Like a predator stalking its prey, a D-type might watch their s-type closely to figure out what makes them tick, how their body responds to different stimuli, what their habits and tendencies are, and what situations make them feel most vulnerable. They gather information that they can then use to “trap” the submissive in a hot scene that pushes all the right buttons, satisfying both their deep need to hunt, and the sub’s deep desire to be captured. A good Dominant is motivated in this hunt by a deep love for or care about their submissive, and a dedication to the idea that the power exchange relationship they are trying to create be one of mutual benefit and welfare.
From the perspective of the submissive, having someone care enough about them to take the time to study and get to know them well can be a profoundly healing experience, particularly if they have not been felt, seen, or heard by others in their life experience prior. Allowing themselves to be hunted fulfills the very human longing to feel needed, wanted, and desired and yet brings up some vulnerability. Everyone wants to feel that they matter to somebody, but the submissive might wonder whether they are worthy of being pursued, or whether they are an attractive enough “target” for a D-type to expend time and effort on. If there is any doubt within them as to their desirability they may not trust the actions of the D-type and it may take a bit of time for them to get comfortable with the idea. Some genuine reassurance from the Dominant goes a long way to help the submissive in this process.
While the dynamics described above may apply within the context of a pre-existing relationship, a challenge to this type of interaction can arise when an s-type is engaged in the process of seeking a Dominant prospective partner. In the case of some practitioners of BDSM, a D-type may prefer to take the stance of being the object of adoration who the s-type must court (hunt) to earn and win their favour. In this situation a submissive may find themselves doing the hunting – learning the preferences, desires, and needs of their Dominant interest so they can deliver accordingly. Here, the Dominant’s focused attention becomes the prey or the prize that motivates the hunt.
The complexity of the relationship between hunter and hunted is thus revealed – that the roles are so similar that it is sometimes hard to tell who is predator and who is prey, who is courting and who is being courted. Some D-types speak of s-types with derision, as though they are more powerful or more important than s-types, when in fact all such a perspective indicates is a deep discomfort with the submissive aspects of themselves. Some s-types repress their own desire to hunt, deeming such an impulse to be antithetical to their role as a submissive, when in fact that ability is what will enable them to attract the Dominant that they dream about. The irony is that neither can separate themselves from their equal but opposing energy.
When you dig beyond superficial labels, there is no real difference between hunter and hunted, or between Dominant and submissive. When a pre-negotiated power exchange is in play they merge and become one dynamic force that is greater than the sum of its parts. Both Dominant and submissive can look into the mirror of the other and see themselves reflected if they choose. If they are brave enough to look, they will eventually learn the true balance of power exchange within BDSM: that the Dominant leads from a place of egolessness, and the submissive submits from a place of power.