Prioritizing Our Need for Fantasy Exploration - By Headmistress Shahrazad

Prioritizing Our Need for Fantasy Exploration

By Headmistress Shahrazad

I don’t know a single person, myself included, who does not prioritize work over play. With good reason, one could argue, since the cost of living in Toronto (or most anywhere these days) is not exactly an inexpensive proposition. If you are anything like me, day after day goes by, and while we know what we enjoy doing recreationally or for pleasure or relaxation, those activities seem to be the first to get bumped to the bottom of our to-do list. Often, by the end of the day, we are exhausted and can’t wait for our heads to hit the pillow. There is no more energy to do the fun stuff.

Now imagine for a moment that you have a bank account of energy, and that every time you do something difficult, monotonous, unpleasant, or even enjoyable but challenging, you are withdrawing energy from the bank account to do it. Since the amount of energy in the account is finite, there will come a time when there is no more energy to draw from the account, and most people experience this as some form of psychological or physical burnout.

And our typical reaction to burnout?

“I think it’s time to flush my phone down the toilet. Or take a few days off work. Or book a vacation. Or better yet, a five-hour extreme bondage and sensory deprivation session at The Ritual Chamber.”

While I am certainly not judging the pattern, which is a common one, I have an alternative proposition to suggest that you might like better. What if, instead of withdrawing energy day after day until your account completely empties and you are in dire straits, you made regular small (or large) deposits?

What constitutes a deposit into this hypothetical energy account is anything you do that GIVES you energy. This will look completely different for every person but can include activities that put you in a state of flow, that relax you, that give you pleasure or enjoyment, that rejuvenate you, or that make you feel happy or fulfilled. For example, one person might gain energy from being able to take a couple of hours to curl up with a good book, while another might gain energy from the endorphin rush that comes from a properly administered spanking.

If we structured our lives such that each day/week we prioritized one small (or large) thing that put energy INTO our account instead of depleting it, it would give us MORE energy for doing the things that we might typically find draining. We could sustain a more even energy output over a longer period with greater productivity and less spiking into the extremes of high stress and burnout.

For many folks who are into kink, BDSM play is a powerful source of pleasure, relaxation, and rejuvenation on emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual and erotic levels. Regular “tune up” visits to your BDSM professional can be one way in which to keep your energy account full on a regular basis, so that you can face the rest of your life with an abundance of energy and equanimity.