The Missing Ingredient - by Mistress Ophira

How would you define “intelligence”? Do you believe that it has any truly objective measure?

When it comes to intellectual acuity, I find that people often overlook the value of maintaining an open mind. Think of it as the mental equivalent of weight-lifting without any flexibility training: your end result looks impressive, but is nonetheless limited in what it can do.

In BDSM, just like in the rest of life, an open and receptive mind is what allows us to continue learning without bounds. Considering how many kinksters experience the frustrations of dealing with closed minded attitudes when it comes to stereotyping perceptions of our lifestyles, it,s a wonder so many of us become closed-minded in our own ways. Accumulating experience and social capital in the kink world can tempt the ego; when we start to view ourselves as having arrived at a state of expertise, rather than being in a constant state of growth and learning, we trap ourselves within self-imposed limits.

 Perhaps most importantly, the sort of mental atrophy that comes with closed-mindedness can hold us back from experiencing our full capacity for intimacy. In each of my dominant fantasies, an empty space remains: the space which will be occupied by the energy, personality, and erotic paradigms of the submissive. These variables could completely alter the fabric and trajectory of the scene. The submissive;s unique self is the medium from which I craft the scene, and I handle it with appropriate care.

 After all, keeping my own mind open is what allows me to penetrate yours.